Something Finally Clicked

Students and volunteers playing games at Art Addicts

For those of you who might not know, I sometimes speak before carefully thinking.  In the past this has worked against me and I can be teased for some of the ridiculous things that come out of my mouth.  However, I want to tell you about a time recently when this bizarre character trait became a blessing.

I feel as though I am in a constant battle to control my thoughts. I constantly question myself and worry. This anxiety can cripple me from speaking up at all, even when I should stand up for myself, share my opinion or introduce people to Jesus.

Last week at our Art Club something finally clicked. When talking with teenagers my boss told me to get awkward. To be honest, I was pretty sure that was the last thing I wanted to do. I am constantly thinking of the best way to say things to the teenagers so that they like me and not think of me as a freak. However, my boss was trying to push me outside of my comfort zone and get to know youth in a different way. Yet, I was not sure how asking awkward questions was going to help.

But then it happened - I started simply talking without thinking. Only this time it was good. I was in a conversation with a teenager about anxiety and before I realized what was happening, I was sharing Jesus with her. I wasn’t even sure where or how I got that deep into the conversation.

It can be scary and intimidating to share God with a teenager. This might seem odd because I have been a Christian for most of my life, went to private school for 13 years, have been in Bible College for 4 years and am a youth worker. Despite all of this I have a hard time sharing Jesus. We do not always know what sort of beliefs or experiences they have had and many youth are openly hostile when the conversation turns to faith.  I am proud of who I am and in no way do I hide my faith but I want to be sensitive to them and build relationships first. I don’t want to simply speak without thinking and somehow end up making their perspective worse.

 In this situation it was the opposite. Instead of regretting my word vomit, I was proud. I’d like to believe that instead of speaking out of a place of random thought, I was instead in tune with the spirit and he took over and made my mouth useful.

 Now even though this girl did not convert through that conversation, I was able to see that in sharing deeper things I did not scare her away. I look forward to more conversations where I am able to speak Jesus and not have anxiety surrounding it.

Being a part of this team and interacting with these youth is not only a place where I am able to serve, but also a place where I can grow and be challenged by God myself. I am so grateful for the time I get to spend with Youth Unlimited. I am still in my fundraising stage and my goal is expand my time in the field this next year. In order to do so I still am in need of monthly donors. If you, or anyone you know, are interested please look into donating to this ministry so I can continue more word vomit on teenagers (no pun intended).

- Savannah Deepwell


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